Amwe mu marenga aganisha kwiherezo ryo guca ukubiri n’umukunzi wawe

Abashakatsi mu by’urukundo ni bamwe mu bafasha benshi mu kubaka urukundorurambye haba kubashakanye cyangwa kubakundana bitegura kurushinga ndetse nab’ akigeragezanya. ubushakashatsi butandukanye bwakozwe ku bimenyetso bizereka umuntu ukundana n’undi igihe bagiye kumwaga kubera impamvu zinyuranye ariko cyane cyane mu gihe umwe atakiyumvamo undi kubw’uko yabonye umuryohereza urukudo kurusha uwambere cyangwa hari indi mpamvu adashobora kumubwira.

1. Kugabanya ibiganiro mwagiranaga

Ubusanzwe iyo uri gutereta umukobwa kenshi ugerageza gukora ibishoboka ukamushimisha kuburyo kenshi uba wifuza kumuganiriza umubwira udukuru kandi ukabikora ubyisimiye kuko byizana iyo ukunda uwo muntu. Nyamara iyo agiye kukwanga atangira agabanya ibiganiro mwagiranaga kuburyo no mu maso he hagaragaza ko hari ikitagenda muri we ariko bitavuze ko arwaye cyangwa ananiwe.

2. Ntakikwerekana mu nshuti nka mbere
Kenshi iyo mwabaga mugikundana mbese muhararanye yakundaga kukurata mu nshuti waba uhari cyangwa udahari ndetse akanakwerekana aho bishoboka hose. Yifuza guhora musohokana mukajyana ahateraniye inshuti ze. Nyamara iyo ari mu nzira zo kugenda akwikuraho gahoro gahoro, arangwa no kutakwerekana mu nshuti kabona n’iyomwaba muri kumwe amera nk’aho uri umuntu usanzwe mwasohokanye kuburyo akenshi hari ubwo wowe ugerageza gutanga ibimenyetso ngo akwerekane ariko ukabona ntahari (si uko aba adahari ahubwo abikora abizi kuko bibabiri mu migambi ye.

3. Iyo ugerageje kumwegera no kumusekera yigira nk’urwaye cyangwa unaniwe

Mu busanzwe iyo hagati yanyu hakirimo urukundo nyarwo rudashihana cyangwa ngo rurangwe no kwicuza mbese nta cyasha kirimo, uganiriza umukunzi wawe mugaseka ndetse nawe akaboneraho akakubwira inkuru zamvahe na njyahe. Nyamara iyo atangiye kuguhaga wenda kuko yabonye undi wamuraruye cyangwa atakikwiyumvamo kubera inshuti ze zamwumvishije ko mutajyanye, iyo ugerageje kumuganiriza nka kwakundi yirinda guseka cyangwa ngo akuganirize cyane mbese biba byabaye nk’ikiganiro kirangwa n’ikibazo n’igisubizo gusa. Aha kuko aba atarafata neza icyemezo cyo kukureka ahita yigira nk’urwaye cyangwa unaniwe kugirango utamubaza byinshi. Aho bikubera ihurizo ni uko muri iyo minsi iyi myitwarire isa n’ihora imuranga.

4. Iyo umubajije icyabaye akubwira ko ari ibisanzwe

Kenshi iyo ubonye imico idasanzwe kumukunzi wawe; irimo kutakuvugisha nk’ibisanzwe, guhora yigize nk’unaniwe, urwaye, ufite akazi kenshi, kutakwerekana nka mbere n’ibindi; ugerageza kumubaza icyahindutse mu buzima bwe, ntuzategereze ikindi gisubizo kitari ‘ni ibisanzwe’. Niwumva agusubije iri jambo ntuzashidikanye kuko azaba agukinze byinshi birimo kugusenda kuko yabonye undi umurarura kuko iyo ageze imbere ye we amera nka kwakundi yabaga ameze mugitangira gukundana. Aha ariko birashoboka ko hari n’ikindi cyamutera kukwanga kitari undi.

5. Akwima umwanya bishoboka kuko ahorana impamvu

Mu gihe mwabaga muri mu rukundo rutagira amakemwa, umukunzi wawe yageragezaga kuguha umwanya aho bishoboka ndetse yewe n’aho wowe ubona ko bidashoboka agashaka kubonana nawe. Nyamara iyo bijya gucika aratangira akakwima umwanya wamusaba ko muhura ntabura impamvu zumvikana cyangwa zitumvikana aguha. Hari ubwo akubwira ko kukazi babatindije, yakoreye kure, yarwaye umutwe, hari umuntu wamuhamagaye byihutirwa n’ibindi.

Ibi abikora kenshi kuburyo no kuguhamagara aba atakibikora ari wowe usigaye uhamagara gusa kuburyo nawe ugeraho ukumva utazi ibyo urimo muri make wumva uri kumwihomaho. Nibwo uzumva kenshi umuntu akubwira ko yatandukanye n’umukunzi we atazi uko byagenze n’icyabiteye.